Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Mom Wants 5 Minutes To Herself? No Way.

I remember the days of being able to shower without interruption. I had the choice to run the hot water completely from the tank if I wanted to! After kids, no more standing under the spray until my skin was pruned. With each child, the length of time I spent in the actual bathroom (let alone the shower) was lessened greatly.

As a mother of three with seven and a half years of practice under my belt. I can now hop in, wash my hair, face, and body in 3.5 minutes flat. I think I've earned some kind of water conservationist gold star.

And today was like all the other days, except I should have showered yesterday (but we all know how that goes when you have children).

I set the kids at the table with their frosted shredded mini wheats and orange juice. With my record, I knew I could be in and out of the bathroom before they even finished eating.

Sixty seconds in, I had WEN in my hair, soap on my body, and had just slapped some Neutrogena on my face when I heard E-Man on the other side of the curtain.

"Mooooommmmm?" he said, worriedly.

Squinting, I popped my soap bubbled face around the shower curtain, "Yes?"

"Ummm welll......Mr Sunshine broke a glass."


"Anyone bleeding?" I asked. Trying to determine if I had to run wet and soapy through the house or of I had time to at least rinse before assessing the situation.

"No, everyone's okay, Mom. Mr Sunshine was just banging his juice glass on his cereal bowl and it broke everywhere."

As I'm speed rinsing I say, "Define everywhere. Is it all over his hand? In his seat?"

"No, it's on the table and on the floor. Everyone's waiting for you in the living room. I'll keep them out of the kitchen."

And E-Man left the bathroom.

Quickly, I rinsed, dried, and threw on some clothing. I jetted out to the kitchen and the mess wasn't nearly as bad as I imagined. No injuries or tiny shards everywhere. I collected the large pieces and wiped the table. I swept the floor and vacuumed the carpet. I disposed of it all carefully and double checked the kids' feet.

And then contemplated a LONG hot shower.